My Best of 2008 List

It's the last day of 2008! Can you believe it?! I certainly can't. This year has blown by - so many fun times, so much quality time time with family and friends, and so many great new things to discover! Thought I'd take this opportunity to point out a few of my faves during 2008...

Best Album - Kings of Leon, Only By The Night

The album came out late in the year, and I'm still listening to it incessantly - much to Jay's chagrin. I've been a huge fan of KOL's previous efforts, but this album struck a chord with me. I love each and every song on the album and could happily listen to the disc every single day. The KOL website was updated each day for a month leading up to this album's release with short home videos that were awesome. Kings of Leon. Dig it.

Best Movie - Son of Rambow

I didn't see this flick til Christmas, so I'm a little late on the SOR bandwagon. But what an adorable movie! I may be slightly biased, because I'm convinced that precocious British youngsters could kick the teeth in of precocious American youngsters any day. Those kids were fantastic to watch. Throw in that creepy religious cult sidestory, and I was - as they say - HOOKED. And the fact that the film featured a few scenes of that Mother Chucker, Ed Westwick of [ZOMG!] Gossip Girl? Icing on the cake, y'alls.

Best Concert - TIE between TV on the Radio and John Butler Trio

These concerts occurred back-to-back in early September. The TV on the Radio concert went down at the Roseland as part of the MFMFNW festival, and John Butler Trio played Edgefield the same weekend. TVOTR made the list because their show was utterly awesome - songs I'd heard on the album and in live online versions were arranged in completely new and fascinating ways. This is truly a band that is not to be missed in a live setting. I'll see 'em anytime they come to town.

Also on the list of bands I'll see whenever they come to town is John Butler Trio. Shaz and I saw them at the Crystal in 2007, so it seemed a bit overkill to hit 'em up again this year at the Edgefield given the fact that they hadn't released a new album. But, oh - am I glad we did. The show was stellar. The weather was perfect, the lawn seating was lovely, and I wrangled myself a spot right up near the stage, where I was able to groove like one of those long-haired hippie chicks. It was a-mahhh-zing.

Best Book - Bonk, The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

I don't typically keep good tabs on this category during the year - I read so much and it makes the tracking piece tough, but I tried to do better this year by logging in my readin' adventures on GoodReads.com. And according to that website, this was the highest ranked book I read in 2008. I can't readily refute that information, so here you go - my fave book of 2008.

Best Magazine - Backpacker

This magazine rocks. It's got everything a self-respecting Oregonian needs to know about day hike routes, equipment, tips and tricks...it's all good. And the photography is simply gorgeous. The photos of Idaho's Sawtooth Mountain area were a solid 25% of the reason Jay and I vacationed at Redfish Lake this summer, for serious. I'm partial to the locations over here on the west side of the country, but the magazine has piqued my interest in lots o' other places, too. A great resource, in my opinion.

And finally, Best Saying of 2008 - Bag of Dicks

Those that spend a goodish amount of time with me have heard my common refrain of disgust - I'll regularly comment that someone or another can "eat a dick." It's not exactly classy, and I wouldn't consider myself a lady for using such language, but there it is. This year, I became familiar with the phrase "bag of dicks" and frankly - I can't stop saying it. According to urbandictionary.com, this phrase is often employed in the following scenarios:

"I drank too much last night, and now this morning I feel like a giant bag of dicks."

or

"This dead prostitute smells like a bag of dicks."

or

"Cheryl's liver and onions were horrible. I would have rather ate a bag of dicks."

Don't you judge me. I'm stickin' with this particular saying for a while...

Your Call: B*tchy or Brave?

I just sent the following e-mail to a coworker. Does it indicate that I'm the meanest, nastiest employee EVAR? Or are you just jealous you didn't have the guts to do it yourself?

I'm mindin' my business over here, and I'm pretty sure I just heard you say you were worried your kid has pinworms. And I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I know it's tough trying to track down medical personnel, but please, please, please try to have those kinds of conversations in a conference room. My gag reflex thanks you.

Why I Miss HBO: Reason #1

Bret and Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords

And a close second...wait, don't you know me AT ALL? True Blood, o' course.

A Christmas Movie Day

Christmas just didn't feel like Christmas this year. I'm not whining about it - just statin' a fact. I spent so much time at work that I didn't have time to get into my Christmas mindset, and when the day finally rolled around, I was entirely too sleep-deprived to celebrate the day properly. Jay and I did manage to make our traditional Big Breakfast that morning, which was quite lovely.

Afterwards, we headed over to our local multiplex for a viewing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. First of all, I'd like to register my objection to movies exceeding 120 minutes in length. Tell the damn story in less than 2 hours, or plan a motherscratchin' sequel, got it? I don't have that kinda patience, man. My adult-onset ADD starts kickin' in real hard, see?

That bein' said...I liked Benjamin Button. The story held my interest for the most part, and I liked the way the different narratives were woven together. I dug the love-story-through-the-ages thing, and the idea that this couple loved each other for decades, but only found a few years where they were truly well-matched to one another. And I'm not gonna lie - the digital imagery and makeup effects SLAYED ME. If that movie doesn't win the Oscar for visual effects, then I just don't know...

from trailersundone.com

After returning from Christmas dinner at my Knuckle Len and Aunt Deb's house, we got into a couple Netflix movies that were waiting for us. The Visitor was a surprise. I wasn't sure how much I'd like it, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. While I had a tough time suspending my disbelief that a guy would actually open his home to the squatters he found living there in his absence, I did enjoy watching this disenfranchised, vacant-eyed man connect with the world around him through music in a way he'd never dreamed possible. A quiet and intimate film that didn't overwhelm me with a saccharine ending. Very nice.

from impawards.com

And finally, we finished off our movie night with Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. What can I say? That guy was a character with a capital C. Watch it. Watch it and realize how much it sucks that he's gone.

from PostSecret.com

Weather and General Slackery

I know it's a poor, poor excuse for not keeping things up to date on the ol' bloggeroonie here, but seriously - last week was downright WEIRD.

By now, you've prolly seen the video of poor Kedzie trying to navigate the backyard a week ago. Just a few hours after I giggled at the poor doggle trying to find a safe spot to wee, I got called into work for PIO rockstar duty. Believe me, I ain't complainin' about going into work, but it did put a damper on my fun time in the snow that day.

Since I don't drive in this kinda weather (lifelong Oregonian, snow doesn't come often enough or stick around long enough for me to bother, blah blah blah...), mah mans was enlisted to drive me into work at 1 pm on Sunday afternoon. Once there, I went to work, writing press releases and coordinating information with other entities workin' their patoots off to clear the roads of snow and ice. As always, I was lovin' it.

At 10 pm, most of my coworkers went home, and two of us stayed to hold down the fort til we kicked things off again at 4 am on Monday. The whole computers/phones/police and fire scanners stuff was set up in one third of a large conference room dealie - I claimed the middle room, and my slumber party pal Mr. P took the third room. There are these cool window seat/storage box areas along all the windows in the three rooms that also function as beds in the rare event we've got to spend the night. I brought all my comforts of home - iPod, cell phone, book, headlamp, but what I didn't count on was the fact that I'd be all amped up from the storm bonkersness and that I could hear the snowplows outside and the police and fire scanners in the next room. Sleep was elusive that night.

Looks cozy, don't it?

When I finally left the next day, I was greeted by this cheerful scene

The state of the roads was horrific, 8 to 10 inch mounds of snow and ice - as I read somewhere in the Twitterverse,

it was "like driving to work in a blender."

All that fun stormwatch biznazz kept me at work right up to 7 pm on Christmas Eve - which meant that Jay and I didn't make it to Eugene as planned to celebrate the birth o' Baby Jesus with his family that night. We're heading down to open pressies with his parentals this weekend, and I doubt we'll have another storm roll through to keep us from the journey south. I'm still trying to decide whether that's a good or bad thing. I'm a rotten daughter-in-law. Don't tell nobody.

Doggles + Ice = Awesome

Enjoy!


Kedz on Ice from aidywi on Vimeo.

No marine-themed hotels for me, thankyouverymuch.

You know what? Turns out my nightmares about sharks in the YMCA pool as a kid weren't all that improbable...

The Snowpocalypse is here.

We've had snow off and on for the last week here in Portland, and for the most part it's been fairly simple to deal with. And by simple I mean, I refused to drive anywhere and insisted mah mans ferry me around town. Look, I'm a self-sufficient woman generally, but I don't mess with the inclement weather. I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE, man.

So the whole week, we've had snow, which then melted. And then more snow, which melted. I ended up taking a vacation day on Friday because we'd heard from every local media news outlet that ARCTIC BLAST '08 was coming, and frankly - I was not all together prepared for Christmas, or the possibility of being trapped in my home with a hungry husband, dog and gatos. Friday was an awesome day, no weather issues whatsoever, so Jay and I finished up the shopping and stocked up on groceries for the week.

This morning the light coming through our window was annoyingly bright, and when I leapt up to check the status of the sky, I happily noted the swirling snowflakes falling to the ground. That was 7 am.

It's now 8 pm, and the snow hasn't let up all day. Jay hopped outside to our (totally clear at 7 am) patio table for a measurement a little bit ago, and here's what it looked like:

Yeah, that's 8.5 inches of snow, people. I understand 8.5 inches may be no big deal in many areas, but trust me - this is a storm of biblical proportions for the Portland area. There are some predictions that we're going to have a round of freezing rain to put a nice lil' crunchy shell on top of this powdery goodness, but I'll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, I'm gonna just go nestle into the couch with Jay and watch movies. We've watched Scrooged, Anchorman and Son of Rambow* already today - I think Gonzo might be next on the list.

* Loved it, loved it, loved it. Netflix this movie immediately.

I object. I strenuously object.

It's not one thing, or three things - it's a WHOLE LOTTA THINGS about the Duggar family that drive me certifiably, unabashedly, unapologetically battycakes. The unfortunate thing is that the family is the subject of a TLC television show called 17 Kids and Counting...and I'm addicted to watching it. I can't explain myself, people - I've just gotta watch it. And then pass judgment.

The Duggars are the family that eschew birth control in favor of accepting all the children that God wants them to have. And they've just had their 18th lil' bundle o' joy. The oldest Duggar kid is 20 and has just gotten hitched his ownself (and the engagement episode was prolly the most disgusting, cringe-inducing television programming I've ever seen).

Here are my main issues with the Duggars:

- They have a sh*tload of kids. Nobody can pay enough attention to that number of kids. Invariably, the older kids end up raising the younger kids. Me, I'd be resentful as hell of that scenario. But in the Duggar girls' case (and yes, it's the girls that do the caretakin'), I'm sure they're just gonna get married up at 18 and have a ridiculous number of kids themselves.

- All the kids' names start with a "J". C'mon, that's just L-A-Z-Y parenting. I hate this phenomenon almost as much as the Junior Naming Convention. It's my opinion that one of the few coolio things about foisting a child forth from your loins is the privilege of naming said child. And this is not a task to be taken lightly with naming a kid something stupid - spelling a conventional name unconventionally (read: Collyn or Krystyna) or bestowing your kid with your same damn name, but tacking a "Junior" on the end - these are examples of what not to do, people.

- They've given some of their kids two first names. They've got an older daughter named Joy-Anna (gag) and the new baby's name is Jordyn-Grace (come the f*ck on). I dunno, maybe you might find these names adorable...but I think such fussy first namesessness breeds annoying behaviors in people. Like the whole attitude-soaked "No, my name is Joy-ANNA, not Joy" thing.

There's plenty more to dislike about the Duggars. For instance, I'm convinced they're raising dogma-spouting automatons and I'm not entirely sure there's not some Duggar Family Plan for World Domination under development. Time will tell what these Duggars are up to, and I'm gonna keep on watching 17 Kids and Counting in the hope that I'll get hip to their plans before the rest o' youze and have enough time to make it to my off-the-grid survivalist outpost in Montana.

*** UPDATED: Good God, as if #18 wasn't horrifying enough ***

So snowy! Yay!

Hilarity. For Realsies.

The Very Short List has done it again. I've forgiven the VSL for its late-to-the-party notification about Cake Wrecks due to this little gem right here. The site is full of NSFW language - so fair warning to you there - but it is downright HILARIOUS. If you like cute animals and you like it when somebunny gets told, you will love this website.

How I Spent My Sunday.

I know all my relatives back in Chicago would be appalled that Portland gets three inches of snow and EVERYTHING SHUTS DOWN, but that's just the way it goes in P-town. I never got called in for PIO Rockstar duty, so Jay and I took the Kedzie doggle for a ramble through the very, very quiet neighborhood.

The snow-flocked woods near our house

Kedzie the dingodog tears up the trail

Crazy doggle kept stickin' his face in the white stuff


See, just a few inches of powdery goodness

Whoops - I got a little aggressive with the ball tossin'

and Kedz had to go a-diggin'

The View From Mah Cubey

It's cold. Waaaaay cold. For Oregon, at least.

According to the Weather Channel, it's currently 24 degrees outside my building, but the wind chill bumps us down to what feels like 10 degrees.

At my desk, I think we're rockin' about 55 degrees. SRSLY. I'm freezing and currently wearing one fleece jacket, with another one wrapped around my legs. I'm pretty sure I look like I should be pushing a grocery cart around town.

I'm trying not to complain because I'm sure the cold cubey is mainly due to the window at my desk. I suppose I could close the blinds to hold in a little heat, but the fact of the matter is that IT'S GORGEOUS outside and every few minutes I like to spin around from my computer monitor, stare outside and blow on my blue fingers to warm them.

I may have to start a bonfire on my desk to stave off the impending hypothermia.

The view at 7 am...

And 11 am...

And now, to lunch! I think some nice hot soup is in order.

A Handy Flow Chart For You.

From Passive Aggressive Notes:

Vampire Weekend? We Loves It.

The impending snowstorm apocalypse threatened by the local news media failed to materialize on Friday night, which made me very happy indeed. Shaz and I made it downtown for the Vampire Weekend show without any problem and claimed a spot in my NEW FAVORITE LOCATION within the Crystal Ballroom.

You see, I've had a few favorite spots over the years. When the joint first opened (and I was younger and more reckless) right up at the stage was where I'd be. Later on when I was able to talk Jay into going with me to shows, we'd arrive early and claim some seats in the balcony. More recently, the floor of the venue was split into two areas - the under-21 side and the old fogey side. I found a perfect lil' spot that's on the fogey side, with a view straight ahead to the center of the stage. The six-foot walkway (or as Ezra from Vampire Weekend referred to it - the iron curtain) provided a nice gap so my 5'2" self could have an excellent view of the stage. The only bummer part was that in order to get that particular spot, I had to arrive way early and stand there...and stand there some more. Good times.

For the Vampire Weekend show, Shaz and I employed a different strategy. We claimed some seats on the benches on the far side of the room, near the heavily guarded exit stairs. We settled in with our (ridiculous!) $6 pints to do some hard core people-watchin'. I quickly noted to Shaz that if we were to calculate the MSRP of the outerwear within the confines of the Crystal Ballroom, it'd be a staggering sum. I swear, you'd think the show was sponsored by North Face or something.

Chairlift, the opening band, came on at 8 and did a quick 45-minute set. I liked the music, but there was some weird fuzzy noise going on in the background that was a bit disconcerting. Finally, after a 30-minute break, Vampire Weekend took the stage. And they were fabulous. I had to admit to Shaz that I wasn't super stoked about VW, but those boys were so damn infectious to watch, I'm converted.

Vampire Weekend, rockin' it.

The low point of the evening came fairly early in the VW set. Shaz and I were up on the bench, enjoying the show, when a couple came and stood right in front of us. The guy was wah-aaaasted and kept thrashing his arms around, coming damn near my face with his flailing arms. At one point, I tapped him on the shoulder and said "Watch your hands, buddy." He turned around and looked at me, towering over him by a few feet, and said "I'll put my hands WHEREVER I PLEASE!"

Awesome.

He restrained himself for a little while, but then was back at it again. And it was at this point that I started seeing bright, flaming lights behind my eyes and I flashed back to an awful concert-going experience from Mother Freakin' Music Fest NW last September. During the Langhorn Slim show at Berbati's a drunk jackass thrashing all over the place knocked into a bunch of us, hurting the chick standing next to me pretty seriously.

And now this guy was doing the same thing. AND I WASN'T HAVING IT.

I tapped him on his shoulder again and yelled into his right ear "If you hit me again, I'm kicking your ass down those f*cking stairs." He paused for a second, then turned around and said "Rightfully so! Rightfully so!" and tried to high-five me. Holy hell.

Right after that, he turned around and knocked his chickie's beer onto her. It spilled all down her white shirt and onto her jeans. He immediately bent at the waist and started sucking the beer out of her jeans. OMG, WTF?!?! She smacked him and told him to stop, but his only response was "What? That's a waste of perfectly good beer!" She turned and looked up at me and said "I'm so sorry" before walking away with him. I looked over to Shaz and said "Why's she apologizing to me? She's the one that has to go home with a jackass."

And that was my Friday night, peeps.

A few things...

Item 1 - I had a fantastic time at Wednesday night's Back Fence PDX event down at the Mission Theater Pub. The storytellers were fantastic, my girl gang was in full effect, and I got to hang with the precious-est interns ever, Miz Meagan and Miz Nathalie (I think I may love them most of all because they shared my childhood agony of never having items personalized with their names. You say it's 'cause our names are unusual? I say it's just that they're BETTER).

I want to tell you all about the cellist and the Mason jar of mari-hwanah, the sleeping in a z-ish formation and the amazingly tall Danny of Menomena, but I'm much too tired to do the write up any kind of justice. Look for something a little later in the weekend.

Item 2 - Thursday afternoon, I was enlisted to procure some raffle items for my company's holiday potluck next week. My shopping partner and I managed to find some cute lil' things at Marshall's, but we needed more stuff, so off to Pier 1 we went. As I parked, I noticed a familiar vehicle a few stalls away. I wandered over to the car and - LO AND BEHOLD - it was Miz Shaz! She'd already completed her Pier 1 shopping, but joined me inside to assist in the giftie search. We'd made it past the first few tables and were admiring a cute lil' pinch bowl set when I glanced over to my right and saw my pally-o Tiffany! What the...what?!? Two of my favorite people in the same store in the middle of the afternoon? Crazytalk! But oh-so-welcome crazytalk.

Item 3 - The media's going cuckoo for cocoapuffs about the snow storm that we're expecting in the Portland area this weekend. Over in the Twitterverse, someone's given this particular MAJORMEDIAEVENT the name SnowGasm '08. I like it. I've been put on stand-by for PIO Rockstar duty in the event the storm does actually hit, which is normally something I love, but it's complicated by this next thing...

Item 4 - Friday night, Shaz and I have tickets to the Vampire Weekend show at the Crystal Ballroom. Since Shaz drove us to Back Fence PDX on Wednesday, it's my turn to get us downtown tonight. Shaz luuurrrves her some VW and was totes bummed that we missed their show during Mother Freakin' Music Fest Northwest last September. So, we kinda HAD to go this time around. Anywayz, this storm thing better hold off until Saturday or Sunday 'cause I really don't want to ditch Shaz at the Crystal to go write a press release about treacherous road conditions. Mainly because I won't be allowed to use the phrase SnowGasm '08.

Happy Friday!

Best. Invention. Ever.

I saw this lil' bit of amazingness out on the innerwebs yesterday and immediately knew I had to share it with the world. But mostly with Shelb.

Behold, the Wine Rack:

I mean, it works on multiple levels, people. Not only does this lil' jog bra let you surreptiously smuggle the devil's juice into sporting events, concerts and stressful family dinners, but when fully inflated, it'll show the ta-tas off to their full advantage. That's just genius in my opinion.

Happy Birthday to Elaine!

And my birthday wishes for the lovely lady are up on her site, I Could Kill Her.

Have a fantabulous Wednesday!

Trailers, we gotcher trailers right here!

Now, I loves me some Twilight. The book, the movie - it's all good to me. What I didn't expect, indeed, what I could not possibly know...was how much I'd enjoy the Funny or Die alternate trailers.

They're all simply splendid, but my fave quote is in the third of five total clips:

Why aren't you afraid of me? Is it because I don't have fangs and I dress in Abercrombie and am in no way masculine?

Where I'll be Wednesday Night

Do consider joining in on the fun

How Kittygatos Complicate Christmas

First of all, they cannot resist the siren song of wrapping materials on the dining room table. And they decide they must roost like lil' chickens upon the tissue paper and gift bags despite your best efforts to shoo them away.

Secondly, of course, they must nestle themselves in grocery bags and then feign surprise at having found themselves in such a predicament.

Then, there is the obligatory freak-out, which results in several nifty gifties being knocked to the floor.

Finally, the deadpan stare that says "How's about you knock it off with the picture-takin' and help a gato out?"

We have ourselves a tree. A Christmas tree.

Tonight was the night for putting up the such ridiculosity family tree. I suppose I should have waited a day or so, given the fact that Jay stayed home sick today and was WICKED FREAKIN' GRUMPY this afternoon, but I wanted it done. So there.

We had ourselves a lazy, lazy weekend due to Jay's contraction of my crazymonkeydeathpox and my general slackery and lack of motivation. It wasn't until 3:30 on Sunday afternoon that I got the hankerin' to go get a tree.

The thing is, out here on the western edge of Portland, we're just a half-hour or so from hundreds of acres of Christmas tree farms. Most years, we head out to them thar hills and cut ourselves a tree. But this year we only got as far as the parking lot of the nearby Hank's Thriftway. 'Cause, you know - it was getting dark and stuff.

Anyhoots, we found ourselves an adorable lil' Charlie Brown noble fir Christmas tree, got it strapped to the top of the car and only then did the guy runnin' the show tell me that they didn't take checks or debit cards. What the - whuuut?! This is 2008, right? Whatev-ras. I just trucked on into the Hank's, picked up a couple items for dinner and got myself $40 cash back.

I handed Jay the cash and jumped into the car to escape the pourin' down rain. We were about a block away when this happened:

Jay: Where's that $5 bill?

Me: What $5 bill?

Jay: That $5 bill I got back from the guy just now.

Me: Wait - what? I gave you $40 to give him.

Jay: Yeah, I know...and he gave me $5 in change. The tree was $35, wasn't it?

Me: Goddamn it, no! That tree was $25 dollars! The tag right on the top says so - he should have given you $15 in change!

***tires squealing as I tear through a parking lot and head back to Hank's***

We roll back into the parking lot, I open my window and say sweetly to the guy (more flies with honey and whatnot...) "Umm, our tree was $25 right? I mean, that's what the tag says...but my husband gave you $40 and we only got back $5 change..."

He had a deer-in-the-headlights look for a hot minute, so I was thinkin' he purposely gouged us. But then he sounded totally apologetic and handed over the $10 - along with a gorgey evergreen wreath - so all was forgiven.

The tree made it safely home and was left to dry out a little in the garage while Jay resumed his couch coma and I returned to the read 4 pages/powernap/read 4 pages/powernap cycle I'd established earlier in the weekend.

Soooo, after a few fits and starts this evening, I was able to enlist mah mans' help in trimming the tree. It involved some very dangerous-looking sawzall action (our trees are always just a tidge too small for our tree stand and require bracing), a small amount of bickering, loads of frustration at the tangled lights (him) and an endless amount of patience (that would be me) to untangle said lights.

In the end, we found ourselves with a tree that's not exactly straight, but I dunna really care. And as Jay pointed out to me "It doesn't matter that it's not straight - we're only going to have it up for two weeks and we're the only people that are going to see it!"

Such a positive thinker, mah mans.

Twink planning her climb, certain to result in a tree-topplin'

All Apologies.

Between the busted-for-a-hot-minute laptop and the crazymonkeydeathpox that hit me this week, I've been fairly well out of action blogwise for the last week. And I apologize for that. I know I get a lil' crazypants when my fave bloggers don't post items regularly (I'm tawkin' to youze, Elaine - but I get the whole all-inclusive Mexican getaway with your husband thang) so I hope you've beared with me.

Some interesting things happened this week. On Monday, I dragged myself into work despite the horrific crazymonkeydeathpox affliction I'd been suffering from all weekend. I'm not sure how I made it through the day, but clearly my rollickin' professional services were needed given the VERY BIG DEAL (VBD) I'd been working on for a few weeks was comin' off the mothereffin' rails and everything.

Tuesday morning was the end o' the line decision time for this VBD and during the course of about 1.5 hours, the answer wavered between YES and NO no less than five freakin' times. I was having mini panic attacks every few minutes, I'm shootin' you straight.

Finally, the decision came down - and I WON. Little did I know that the general stressery and teeth gnashing would present me the next day with something I haven't had in a while...a giant, cut-my-head-off-'cause-anything-would-be-better-than-this-motherscratchin'-pain migraine.

I took a sick day on Wednesday.

You'd think that would help, huh?

Oh no.

What happened was...the muckety-muck that had to sign on the dotted line to finalize Tuesday's VBD refused to do so. I'm fairly certain that it's because this guy was put on Earth to keep me spinning along the 4th ring of Hades. No jokes, y'alls.

Anyway, one of my coworkers called me at home to let me know...and the teeth gnashing started anew. In the end, it all worked out, but I assure you - I was hating everything and everyone on Wednesday afternoon.

Thursday was a vast improvement. No, not workwise - the workday started with 4 straight hours of meetings that left me feeling somewhat homicidal. However, I did have plans to meet up with a few friends for happy hour at Portland City Grill and that? Was fantastic. MMMMM...I had some delish happy hour snacky-snacks and afterwards, we rolled over to Huber's for some flaming Spanish coffees.

I don't know if it's the sugar, the alcohol, or the blue flames shooting out of the glass, but there's just no way and no how you can retain any bit of pissedoffedness after having a flaming Spanish coffee.

At least there's no way I could. And thank jebus for that.

Happy Friday, y'alls! See ya next week!

Welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Have you seen this crazytalk Hello Kitty Hospital biznazz?

I'm all for making things home-y in traditionally austere environments like hospitals, but This. Has. Gone. Too. Far.

For one, I'm wondering about the long term effects of that overwhelming Pepto pink decor on the babes' wee eyes. That's just a whole lotta pink to inflict upon someone. Damn near toxic levels, in my opinion.

And secondly, isn't it a bit odd to have a hospital-as-shrine to a mouthless kitten with a disproportionate head?! What will this teach the children? I fear that they will be ill-prepared for encounters with unfriendly cats due to Hello Kitty's similarity to benign Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons. You know, 'cause real kittygatos have the needle-sharp teeth and everything. This does not bode well for future events. We must all stock up on penicillin - STAT!

photo by Reuters/Christine Lu

My laptop is all jacked up. This fills me with rage.

I switched on my computer last night, listened to the familiar start up chimes, and then - nuthin'. Nothing happened when I used the touchpad, the cursor was totally frozen, and I couldn't alt-control-delete my way out of it. I got some message that I didn't have permission to change anything on my ATI Radeon device, but jeez man - I don't even know what the hell that IS, so I doubt I was trying to monkey around with the stupid settings!

Jay's making fun of my anxiety about the situation, despite my frequent, clenched-jaw comments that he should MIND HIS OWN BIDNESS and such. I tried pinning this bo-log-na on him and his incessant eBay searches for "kegerators" this weekend, but he swears the computer was runnin' just fine when he last used it. Whatevs, man. Someone's gonna pay for this interruption in my Google Readerin' and cyberstalkery, goldammit.