We *heart* Aqua Net

Time for a little catch-up now...

Jodles' MegaFantastic80sBacheloretteParty was a few weeks back, but as I've been on blog strike (general laziness) I've not been able to update you on the night's shenanigans. And shenanigans there were.

Mels and I met up at Kates' joint a few hours early to pre-func for the big event. And by "pre-func" I mean hair crimping, artful eyeshadow applying and the use and abuse of several bottles of Aqua Net hairspray. We weren't messing around, nosiree. I was initially going for giant, bouncy curls in a half-up side pony configuration (don't act like you don't totally know what I'm talking about), but my hair totally wouldn't cooperate - despite the fact that I'd employed the assistance of two giant curling irons and a year's supply of the Aqua Net. In the end, I decided to go fully crimped. And it was amazing.

We were slammed for time after beautifying ourselves into Ladies of the 80s, so we swung by a Burger King on our way to the initial meet-up point, the home of another one of Jody's friends. For some reason, I had it in my head that we'd use the drive thru, but Kates proclaimed herself unable to eat and drive, so in we went. I'd love to say that we freaked the hell outta the BK staff, but this is Portland after all...there are freaks every-damn-where here. Leave it to the hipsters to steal our look.

After playing what had to have been the coolest board game ever modeled after an actual person that I know (Jody!) the 20 or so of us headed down the road to Good Foot to shake our groove thangs to the Michael Jackson tribute band. Jodles was ready to get-get-get down that night.

We claimed a few tables to the left of the stage (is it still a stage if it's the same level as the rest of the venue? just wondering...), grabbed some drinks and waited for the band to take the stage. During the very first song, I noticed a woman across the way lock eyes on a spot right behind and above my head and make a beeline straight towards me. Turns out, she was utterly enthralled by Kates and her giant leopard-print hairbow. Seriously, I thought she was gonna squeeze poor Kates' head off with the lock she had around her neck. I almost intervened in the sitch, but then P.Y.T. came on, and all bets were off.

I totally dug the bongo-playing lead singer's MJ jacket, but we could not figure out the deal on his Blazer-esque warm up pants. Oh yeah, and his silver lame (that's lam-ayyy, not lame as in stupid - I just can't figure out how to make that lil' en francais symbol thingie) shirt. Rick-diculous!

Also rick-diculous? This chick's baby toe:




For reals. I was traumatized by that toe. It was sooooo small compared to the other toes! What's that about? Did it not get enough nutrition in the womb? Did it suffer a sports injury early in life that led to stunted growth? GAH! Now, I'm not saying I have the most adorable feet myself - in fact, mine are odd little Flintstone feet - but at least I have the good sense to keep them covered up most of the time! I mean, dag. And PS - since when is it a good idea to go barefoot on the skanky all-weather carpet of a dive bar? WHERE WAS THIS GIRL RAISED?

Total highlight of the night? When the band got to Thriller. The place went mad. MAD, I tell you! This fella in front put down his sax to do the creepy Vincent Price rap in the middle of the song and with the assistance of some voice-warpy thingie, he sounded just as scary. He also totally reminded me how terrified I was after seeing the video for Thriller the first time. I mean, like completely-convinced-there-are-zombies-in-the-attic terrified. I had a really overactive imagination as a kid.

Holy crapsticks! She's back! A bunch of us headed outside during the band's break and crazy neck-squeezing, head-popping-off chick accosted Kates once again. Here she is holding forth on Kates' impressive attire of sequined tee and bedazzled denim. Much more attention from this chick and she was on the next train to Stalkersville. I'm just sayin'.

Despite the zombie flashback and Kates' public groping times 2, we had a lovely night and sent our girl Jodles off to become a Missus. Success!